Tyra! Tyra! Tyra!

I suppose I'm a little torn on some women's issues.

Here is an example of my squirming feminism:

The Tyra Banks Show, January 22nd. Tyra demonstrates how to maximize your tube of lipstick by digging out the extra bits with a toothpick and placing the bits that would have otherwise been wasted into a little plastic container. She then has some kind of expert woman come on stage and they discuss the handy trick of using toilet seat lining from public restrooms as blotting paper for facial oils or make-up. The cameras cut from the stage to an audience of very attentive, very happy women of various weights and ages.

1. My first instinct is harsh judgment. Is there nothing better to talk about on a television show geared towards women? All this focus on beauty and fashion and blah blah I begin to bore myself even thinking about it again. This is The Obvious.
2. Second reaction: Why shouldn't Tyra Banks give these tips to women? A lot of women are interested in this topic, and the whole point is getting the most for your money from the beauty products you buy (--to conform to this completely arbitrary standard of worth that models like Tyra Banks perpetu--) no stop you're going back to your first instinct stop stop stop judging these women!! My second reaction is marked by my concerted effort to stop judging people for adhering to gender stereotypes, and to start recognizing that maybe the most progressive gender attitude is to accept that some things are specific to men and women in general, while keeping a social and moral analytical mind!
3. I'm led to my third set of feelings, to reassure myself. These women in the audience must understand that physical beauty is not all-important or defining, and thus are honestly investigating the part of themselves that enjoys the process of beautification as an art and an expression of their inner spirit. They are intelligent women who are professionally successful and respect an entrepreneurial woman like Tyra Banks...?
4. Fourth response: doubled rebellion! Only in a perfect world where SUVs and the death penalty don't exist, and internet is always free could my third reaction be true! FUCK this show. This is so vulgar, so depressing. Such a disgusting encouragement of all things that keep women out of so many male-dominated industries. Such a distraction from what could build character and self-esteem and knowledge. Tyra Banks hates herself and she's teaching all women to hate true femininity!! Rampage!!
5. The reality of my own hypocrisy makes my eyes glaze as I look at myself: on a workout machine in the late morning, looking up from GQ magazine long enough to catch two minutes of a talk show, at a gym in Los Angeles trying to improve my physical appearance. How am I that different from those hopeful faces in the audience, those women looking for ways to form their bodies to fit into Tyra's little jeans?

But I am different. And I do judge people. I suppose I'm torn about just HOW wrong this is, on which levels.

I think I should do some research before I write anything else. Consider it a five level knee jerk.

Ingvar Kamprad, Elmtaryd and Agunnaryd

Dear Valued Customer,

Recently, you wrote a letter asking what is the key to our success...

If there are pillows being sold for four dollars to your right, and bath mats on sale for ten dollars to your left, and straight ahead is a bin of pot holders for fifty cents, doesn't it SEEM that everything in the general area is an absolute bargain?

You buy three pillows. Pillows are never sold for four dollars, that's lunacy. A bath mat for twelve dollars? Throw it in the cart, another bargain. And fifty cents can't buy you a soda these days, let alone a very useful and reliable pot holder. That pot holder might out last a current friendship or pet. For fifty cents, you can purchase what could eventually be a permanent fixture in your home, and homes to come! An investment! Or you could place it in the nearest gutter on your way home and feel no regret, as you most likely lost two quarters in the shuffle of couches and laundry and life that very morning. You don't really love the pattern on the pot holder, but you won't find one for less than fifty cents anywhere. In fact, you have a brief feeling of admiration- not only for pot holder's cost vs. value, but for yourself! You bask in a brief semi-conscious spotlight that makes you just that much smarter than other consumers for having discovered this wonderland of bargains. You barely perceive this feeling, but it moves you forward- smirking through the store, enabling purchases like a $1 wooden spoon, a $5 little rug, a $2 metal plate that might be for a candle, but you're not sure.

Our answer... Most bath mats are cheaper than twelve dollars.

Love,

IKEA